FC United of Manchester
FC United of Manchester
FC United of Manchester
KYKM 08/12/18: Kris Kringle All The Way
A festive-ish ’Course You Can Malcolm’ returns to the SMRE Bar on Saturday 8th December (12noon - 3pm), featuring live band The K’s and punk poet Geneviève Walsh.
Over to you Malcolmses.... in your own words as ever!
Here’s a fun game for you all: name a person more famous than Father Christmas. Go on, I’ll just nip to the kitchen, make a brew and check if that slightly pongy pack of ham that’s two days past its use by date is alright to eat while I wait…. What’s that, you say? The Queen? David Beckham? Liberace? Oh, please....
This is a man that transcends borders, cultures and languages, is revered by kids world-wide, and employed by parents as a tool of their cruel oppression to keep their children in check, telling them ‘he’s always watching’. It doesn’t matter how old you are or which country happens to issue your passport; his big-bearded, ruddy-cheeked appeal is ubiquitous. It’s safe to say it’s proper lemon squeezy to see why he’s the most famous person on the planet (save for Roy Cropper, perhaps).
Known as Babbo Natale in Italy, Joulupukki in Finland, Swiety Mikolaj in Poland, and probably something like Red Nosed Flying Gift Man in Japan, he goes by many different names. Of all his Yuletide monikers though, this Saturday, we’re going to plump for calling him Kris Kringle. And why, exactly? Well, we’re not only putting a festive CYCM on, but we’re celebrating by welcoming indie band The K’s to round off the day’s events for us, meaning we’re blending our Christmas and letter K themes with a link so tenuous, Bands FC would be proud. Though we’ve not invited Kris Kristofferson, and we never will (he knows why).
And here it is: the rundown of the festive day of fun we have in store for you:
11:00 The Oddies Arrive: Up early like kids on Christmas morning, eager to see if they got Buckaroo or whatever the most popular toy is these days, the Oddies are just too giddy to remain in bed, rushing down to Moston to set the stage up
12:00 Doors Open: Just like the last day of your advent Calendar, they’re double doors, where opening them will lead you to a sweet treat (the sweet treat being Malcolms, obv)
12:45 Christmas Giftathon: It’s Christmas, so overcome with the spirit of giving, we’re spilling the contents of our sack for a few lucky punters
1:00 Geneviève Walsh: Described as both a punk poet and a goth poet, whatever label you want to put on her, she’s ace
2:20 The K’s: Indie music from one of the North-west’s finest up and coming bands
3:00 The 90 Minute Ball Kicking Game: Soccerball! Kick! Touch-down!
After paying a visit to the last Malcolms purely in a viewing capacity, it’s a pleasure to welcome back poet Geneviève, this time as a performer. Hailing from Yorkshire, she’s been described as a ‘…word weaving whirlwind’, and ‘a natural performer who will tease out your inner weirdo’. She can also add compere and tutor to her CV (that’s a résumé to any Americans reading), and we’re looking forward to her showcasing her plethora of talents in the form of her socially aware poetry this Saturday. She’s also no stranger to CYCM, thanks to hosting spoken word night Spoken Weird alongside FC fan and mate of Malcolms, John Darwin.
What better way to introduce our band for Saturday by quoting them in their on words? As The K’s say: ‘Forming in Earlestown in 2017 and growing up together in the shadows of two huge North West neighbours, ManchesterThe K’s and Liverpool, The K’s are proving that things can in fact actually grow in the dark’. Comprising of Jamie Boyle on vocals and guitar, Dexter Baker on bass, Ryan Breslin on guitar and Jordan Holden on drums, the lads have been building up a loyal following, thanks in the main to their high energy, indie rock tunes. And if their excellent debut single Sarajevo is anything to go by, it’s going to be a raucous end to the afternoon when they take to the stage. To learn more about the band, search for their page on Facebook, and have a ganders on that there YouTube for their aforementioned single. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKN9KtlR4Ak
On top of all this festive goodness, there’ll also be a selection of foods from the meaty end to the vegan end of the scran spectrum, all the booze your heart could desire, but sadly, with our resident librarian away on her international travels, the homemade sweet treats are going to have to wait until the next Malcs. Don’t fret too much though, as the wait’ll just make them taste all the sweeter next time round (and that’s a perceived sense of increased sweetness, by the way. We’re not saying there’ll be a tooth-killing amount of sucrose added).
So, come, forget about going on your work’s do with Christmas jumper-clad divs, or fighting your way through a rammoed high street, and enjoy yourselves in the company of like-minded, music-loving Reds, instead. It’s Christmas as it should be celebrated: with music, love and laughter, and not a single member of the royal family waffling on in sight. Go on, you know you deserve it.
(Also, a big thanks to Space Monkey Rich for all the help he’s given us getting bands on this year, it’s been much appreciated by all the Oddies)
Just so you know: if you come looking for us in the St. Mary’s Road End, then, well, you’re in the right place, because that’s our permanent gaff, now. Just head to the turnstiles and make your way about two-thirds down the SMRE. You can’t really miss us as we have a big, dock off stage for a start, plus a flag with a massive caravan drawn on it.
And as always: entrance to CYCM is completely freemans, with the usual rules applying: no divviness, nuclear weapons or anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to put butter in coffee. Because apparently that’s a thing, now. Refugees welcome.